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by Carol Fleming (American Bedu) - 02/07/2010
"Saudi weddings are a special and unique experience. This article provides a description of typical wedding customs and what one needs to know in advance if invited to a Saudi wedding."
A Saudi wedding is an enjoyable and memorable experience. If an expat is invited to a Saudi wedding it is a special honor. One can tell a Saudi wedding is unique starting with the invitation received. It will likely be an oversize invitation in beautiful calligraphy providing the identities of the couple along with their parents name and details pertaining to the place and time of the celebration. In some invites fine print will advise to bring the card to the function, particularly if it is being held at a fine hotel where staff ensure that no one but invitees are allowed access. Other wedding parties may be held at banquet facilities which are specifically oriented for large wedding parties. It is typical for a Saudi wedding to have in excess of 400 guests, some weddings of prominent families will have more than 1000 guests.
Most of the wedding parties in Saudi are segregated in accordance with the traditions and custom of the Kingdom. For example, a large banquet facility will have an entrance for the men at one end and a separate and covered entrance for women at the other end. A wedding party at a hotel will usually have large ballrooms reserved with one for men and one for women.
One should be forewarned in advance that a wedding party is a lengthy affair. Most do not conclude until after the meal has been served which may not take place until four in the morning! The invitation card may state that the reception will start at nine o’clock in the evening. My personal advice is do not plan to arrive any earlier than eleven pm. Those who do arrive promptly on time as stated in the invitation will find that the only ones present are usually the wait staff who are setting up for the function. Sweets will be offered during the reception prior to the dinner. However it is recommended that unless one is accustomed to eating a large dinner in the wee hours of the morning, to eat a light meal before arriving at the wedding party.
The women’s party will be a lively affair. Everyone will be talking at once and the volume level is high! All the Saudi women will be dressed in their best gowns and jewelry. Their makeup will be skillfully applied and hair styled very carefully as well. Most of the wedding parties will have at a minimum the traditional music. For the women’s section, this will be a group of women, usually from Africa, who will play traditional drums and sing favorite traditional songs. The women in attendance will clap their hands to the music and many of the women will get up and dance. There will be a raised platform and women will take turns dancing on the platform.
The dancing and music will take place for several hours. Usually around two o’clock in the morning there will be a cue for the music to stop as this is when the bride will finally make her appearance. She will enter the room wearing a traditional white western style wedding gown complete with veil. As she enters all the women in attendance will stand and cheer her with the unique call which Arab women make moving the tongue back and forth in their mouth. The bride will walk slowly to the raised platform to give everyone a chance to see her in her wedding finery. Then she will sit in a bridal chair on the raised platform and receive greetings from the women in attendance.
After about 90 minutes has passed the lights will likely be turned on and off several times. This is to give a warning to all the women present that the bride groom and perhaps his father will be coming in to join the bride. Before the men enter the women in attendance are given the chance to cover themselves so as not to be seen by unrelated men. The groom will come in usually dressed in his finest thobe and bischt and will sit beside his new bride allowing the female guests to take photos. The men will typical stay no more than ten minutes in the women’s section before they make their departure.
Once the men depart, dinner will be served. The wedding party is considered complete after guests have eaten their meal. At that point it is appropriate for the women to take their leave.
Similar activities take place for the men as both wedding parties take place at the same time. The men will enjoy their own traditional songs and dances with each other. I am told that it is common for the groom to participate in many of the dances too.
Like most weddings around the world it is common to give a wedding gift. The gift can either be sent to the home of the bride or groom in advance of the wedding party or brought to the wedding party. There will be a table where gifts are deposited. Many of the shops at the large malls will have sections with a large variety of lovely wedding gifts.
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Fahimah Bemberry